Is my girlfriend killing herself?
Dear Dr.Rich,
My girlfriend is a very busy woman, and she is currently in college working on a Biotech/Physics double degree. She has 30 hours of class a week and has at least 45-60 hours of homework or studies to do every week. She also feels that she MUST workout 3 times a week. She does not get that much sleep for a 21 year old. On the average about 4-5 hours a night. She also volunteers in two organizations and has very little free time to herself. She also does not have time to have a good breakfast, for she has a long drive each morning. She does not eat proper meals most of the time and eats at odd times of the day. I look at these facts and I say to myself she is not leading a healthy lifestyle. I feel that her lifestyle is a strain on her heart. Heart disease also runs in her family with her paternal grandmother and father both having suffered heart problems.
I am wondering if there is anything I can do to help her. She does not like to listen to me about telling her to take it easy sometimes. I feel she will listen to a respected doctor more than she will to me. Am I worrying too much? Or is there a reason for my concern? I think so, just using my common sense. If she keeps this up she will end up having some kind of heart complication earlier in life. What do you think Dr.Rich? I would appreciate your input and advice to the situation. It would help this very intelligent and beautiful girl lead a healthy life.
Thank you,
Bob
DrRich replies:
I hesitate to get in the middle of this one, but I'll try to help. If you're asking whether stress can cause heart disease, the answer is, well, maybe. You can read all about it in a recent article I've posted.
The bottom line is, it's not so much the stress itself, but the individual's handling of the stress. Some people (for instance, high-powered executives who steer cutting edge biotech companies) thrive on the driven, on-the-go lifestyle you describe of your girlfriend. Others find a trip to the beach extraordinarily stressful. The high-powered executive probably suffers fewer physiological effects on the heart than the guy who flips out waiting in line for a table at the lobster house. So is your girlfriend's lifestyle potentially harmful to her? It depends on how she handles it.
Your girlfriend seems to have chosen a lifestyle that suits her. If she likes living this way, and she is avoiding tobacco, exercising, not obese, and avoiding a diet that fosters high cholesterol, she's probably doing what she really needs to do. Choosing a lifestyle that you're happy with (even if it looks stressful to others) is probably a good choice from the cardiac standpoint.
But Bob, I'm a bit concerned about you. Sounds to me like your girlfriend's life choices are causing you some significant emotional stress. From your description of your girlfriend, it seems unlikely that your disapproval is going to be enough to slow her down. The odds of changing deeply seeded personality traits - even for the sake of love - are low. And it will be a long time before they perfect the personality transplant. So I hope you can learn to relax and live with her life choices - otherwise, you may want to think about looking elsewhere for companionship. I'd hate for you to give yourself a heart attack.
DrRich
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